Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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