Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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