I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
