I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
