There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize