Pregnant stripper...not hot.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
