It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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