The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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