its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I just made out with a guy for $7.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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