Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
It was confusing and full of hummus
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
