Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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