Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
foreskin is a definite game changer
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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