Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
this just has baby written all over it
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
