he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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