Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
