i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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