If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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