I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
