I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
