Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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