I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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