My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
