? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
