She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
