theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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