What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
