theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Also, beer. Big fan.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
and you fell through a lawn chair
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
