Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
