I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize