Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
