Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
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