Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
