I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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