using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
