matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
