That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize