Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
