How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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