No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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