Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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