i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
