Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Randomize
