Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
