the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize