No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
