if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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