you would pick up someone in the library
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Randomize
