we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
