you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
