i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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