saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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