he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize
