What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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