just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
