Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
