he told me I talked like a deaf person
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
