Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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