we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
