This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
is it fun? or sober?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
