i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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