Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
You pole danced in your parka.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
