well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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