with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
