Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
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