we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
