i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
this just has baby written all over it
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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