It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
