and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Randomize
