You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
