We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
