OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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