she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
whose parrot is this?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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