i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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