I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Randomize
