The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
