you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
