sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
