I feel great
I just peed on a car
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
false alarm. still invincible.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize