it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
