glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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